Warning! This post makes no sense, it doesn't flow, there's no point to it, it's just a collection of thoughts that have popped into my head over the course of three breastfeeds. I was supposed to post this last Friday and here we are 6 days later... Enjoy!
Three weeks ago at 9.46am, Nick and I welcomed a little baby BOY! What a surprise for this convinced baby was a girl mama. I WILL write down his birth story soon. And then I will write down what happened in the first two weeks of his life but right now, some thoughts from this week/yesterday/right now when baby Dash is three weeks old, struggling to fill out his super snugly 0000 sized bonds wondersuit and having a little wriggle on my lap (occasionally smacking noodle on the head with one of his mittened giant baby hands).
Husbands going back to work after two weeks of family bliss with a new baby is hard. Sucks, the worst. So scary! Nick went back on Monday afternoon and as his mum came over to help I wasn't really alone until Tuesday and then! Deep breathing. Positive thinking. No showering. No panicking! I hastily decided to get out of the house at 9am, completely solo just to get it over with and... it was amazing.
I took the two dogs and the pram filled with our baby wearing seven layers and five thousand blankets for a walk. I popped on a beanie and sunglasses and the tracksuit pants I'd worn for the last four days and bounded out the door.
I felt like supermum! Forget about the laundry that piles up in an hour, the dishes that multiply before your eyes, the dust bunnies that are bigger than Muggsy despite weekly vacuuming and my obviously disheveled appearance cause in my world, I did it.
You know what's crazy? When you get to the hospital, in labour, slightly panicking, getting ready to give birth, they make you step on the scales. Honestly aren't we in enough pain already?! Full disclosure, I gained 20kg. Pre baby I would be flipping out right now. Post baby, I actually adore my squishy belly. My larger than normal thighs, my new found cellulite and my clearly not toned arms are all my friends. I'm being kind to myself and I'm so proud of that. I'm already 10kgs down but not worried about the other 10 just yet. But really, another post for another day.
Things that are amazing (in no particular order):
- my Husband.
- solly baby wraps
- NBA playoffs
- chocolate up and go
- target jeans that are two sizes up to save your soul when all the jeans in the house won't button up
- Thursday's
- mothers
- friends who cook you dinner fifteen million times
- our friends in general
- our city select baby jogger pram
- hand knitted baby things
- boon grass drying racks and medela breast pumps
- newborns
- snifffing a newborns head
- Asop soap and hand cream
Things that stink:
- newborns on medication (actually seriously stinky poops)
- Australian Netflix
- terrible new mum diets
- Wednesday's
- no floor heating
So in the interest of preserving memories, and clearing out brains, let me tell you a story.
My cousin came to visit Dash and I the other day. He was having a bit of a grumbly day, very unsettled, nap to feed ratio way off, etc etc. Anyway Booey was over (what a nickname) and we were chatting and Dash was grumbling and so I thought hey mate, you only grumble when you're hungry or dirty or tired so lemme change you and eliminate one cause.
I started changing grumbly baby when all of a sudden I hear some rumbling. Then I see some pooping so I grab a wipe and catch it. No big deal. Then the rumbling starts up again and I catch another.
Then as I am cleaning up and thinking surely no more poops could be had! One of them shoots out at me (litterally like a rocket), gets my cardigan, gets my top, runs down my pants, lands on my ugg boots, sprays the carpet... I just stood there and screamed for help. Lucky Booey and my Mum were over and helped me clean up the mess.
Anyway. Grumbly baby was much happier after that. Sometimes you just need to clear out all the shit in your life in order to feel better.
Moral of the story,
I feel like I too am clearing out all the shit in my life and feeling better. Mentally/spiritually I am a new woman and I feel so fantastic and so in love with my outlook on life. This new role and the new challenges we are facing have forced me to become the person I have always dreamed of being. The Mama I longed to be and particularly, the type of Mama I always dreamed of being. The one who is patient and kind and understanding and giving, at least thats what I'm shooting for.
So thank you baby Dash, for pooping on me, for making me a Mama and for making all of my wildest dreams come true.
All photos from that fateful Tuesday when I had to be a real Mama and take care of shit all on my own. Hence the frowny faces...
I'ma blog again real soon! I miss you! I know you miss me too.
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