life according to my camera roll

If it weren't for time stamps on the photos stored on my phone, I would have absolutely no idea when things happened. To be honest I probably wouldn't remember most of the things happening in the first place. I have this constant fear that I'm not documenting enough lately and also this constant debate of should I snap my camera and journal every three seconds or just live in the moment?

So while my mother in law and sister in law kindly cook, clean and watch our baby (actual angels) I will write some things down to go with these high quality iphone photos with many filters thrown on them.

Clockwise: Dash Dew playing on his mat at five weeks old. I was actually just trying to take some snaps of the nursery and him in it cause I know it will look different in a minute or two. I'm getting real itchy to craft and decorate and make our house real purdy again. If you look closely you will see him protesting the impromptu photoshoot.

Sending photos to friends and family all day every day. We have a daily ritual of snapping everyone we know. We may not have a routine but I'll be damned if we can't snapchat funny shit.

Dash the brave fits into the bear suit his parents bought him while on a birthday holiday in Melbourne earlier this year. Tear face cause he's growing out of it a week later...

Some of my fav Dash things. Pop Ya Tot dummy clip (I wish I could own one of each, they're all so dang cute), little baby ugg boots that have had some serious good use. They're all scuffed up and looking very worn and I couldn't love it any more. And a country road blanket from Grandma. Bless you country road. Also bless you Grandma.

Squirt started smiling! I've never seen anything more glorious. His Dad has a pretty wicked real proper smile he reserves just for me but this little baby smiling for the first time sorta beats it. Just by a little.

I've had a fringe for as long as I have had hair. I didn't have proper hair until I was about 4 so this  statement isn't too dramatic but the hair around my face has always been shorter so I said Maria! Let's just cut it all! Make it all the same length! And so now, here I am with my Mama lob just feeling all fabulous. I actually seriously contemplated taking a selfie for three days before I made it happen. 

Dash has three sets of Grandparents right? In all of those families, he is the first Grandbaby. Dash is adored. Now I am sure all Grandbabies are loved and adored and I am sure our next baby will be loved and adored but there is something spesh about the first. His Pop (my dad) is so obsessed he has even started ordering his coffee in Dash's name. 

Hanging at Grandma's on Sunday, being all cute and stuff. 

The Dewberries be 25 going on 65. We bought a La-Z-Boy (but did not buy scotch guard yet hence the blanket protection) and I'll be damned if it isn't the most comfortable seat on earth. We were going to get one of those plastic leather nursing glider chairs... and then we saw the rocking recliners... and then we SAT in the rocking recliner... and then we threw our wallets at the shop and demanded same day delivery. 

The things you learn once babies have arrived. Pre baby I was all we don't need no sleeping bags! Post baby you see how squirmy they are and how easy it is for the blankets to find their way over baby's face and then you say give me all of the sleeping bags right now. Also who needs a pillow when you have those cheeks.

Celebrating like there's no tomorrow. Girlfriend bought a wedding dress!! The most perfect dress for her banging body and I got to see it on her! Almost died dead on the spot. Then we celebrated with prosecco! The girls did anyway, I stole one sip and looked at the bottle with sad eyes (because delicious) while wondering what the devil I was doing taking my baby to a pub on a Thursday night. To be fair it was a restaurant/pub. There was table service!

Post baby body and pre wedding wardrobe do not mix. My ass and thighs laugh at the size ten jeans scattered all over the floor. Whatever, I hate my old wardrobe anyway! Since I no longer need a corporate wardrobe I am going all out with the purging. If I were a millionaire I would burn everything and start from scratch. Since I am not, I have a plan! I have specific items I want for this winter and I've been buying them slowly like a sensible girl. I shall blog about it, mark my words. 

Still reading? Was this post too long? I could have written entire posts about each individual photo so count yourself lucky. 

I miss blogging and my office so terribly so I will be back soon! Once Dash is in a routine and I find my marbles. 

The tale of the poops

Warning! This post makes no sense, it doesn't flow, there's no point to it, it's just a collection of thoughts that have popped into my head over the course of three breastfeeds. I was supposed to post this last Friday and here we are 6 days later... Enjoy!

Three weeks ago at 9.46am, Nick and I welcomed a little baby BOY! What a surprise for this convinced baby was a girl mama. I WILL write down his birth story soon. And then I will write down what happened in the first two weeks of his life but right now, some thoughts from this week/yesterday/right now when baby Dash is three weeks old, struggling to fill out his super snugly 0000 sized bonds wondersuit and having a little wriggle on my lap (occasionally smacking noodle on the head with one of his mittened giant baby hands).

Husbands going back to work after two weeks of family bliss with a new baby is hard. Sucks, the worst. So scary! Nick went back on Monday afternoon and as his mum came over to help I wasn't really alone until Tuesday and then! Deep breathing. Positive thinking. No showering. No panicking! I hastily decided to get out of the house at 9am, completely solo just to get it over with and... it was amazing.

I took the two dogs and the pram filled with our baby wearing seven layers and five thousand blankets for a walk. I popped on a beanie and sunglasses and the tracksuit pants I'd worn for the last four days and bounded out the door. 

I felt like supermum! Forget about the laundry that piles up in an hour, the dishes that multiply before your eyes, the dust bunnies that are bigger than Muggsy despite weekly vacuuming and my obviously disheveled appearance cause in my world, I did it.

You know what's crazy? When you get to the hospital, in labour, slightly panicking, getting ready to give birth, they make you step on the scales. Honestly aren't we in enough pain already?! Full disclosure, I gained 20kg. Pre baby I would be flipping out right now. Post baby, I actually adore my squishy belly. My larger than normal thighs, my new found cellulite and my clearly not toned arms are all my friends. I'm being kind to myself and I'm so proud of that. I'm already 10kgs down but not worried about the other 10 just yet. But really, another post for another day.

Things that are amazing (in no particular order): 

- my Husband.

- solly baby wraps

- NBA playoffs

- chocolate up and go

- target jeans that are two sizes up to save your soul when all the jeans in the house won't button up

- Thursday's

- mothers 

- friends who cook you dinner fifteen million times

- our friends in general

- our city select baby jogger pram

- hand knitted baby things

- boon grass drying racks and medela breast pumps 

- newborns

- snifffing a newborns head

- Asop soap and hand cream

Things that stink:

- newborns on medication (actually seriously stinky poops)

- Australian Netflix

- terrible new mum diets

- Wednesday's 

- no floor heating

So in the interest of preserving memories, and clearing out brains, let me tell you a story. 

My cousin came to visit Dash and I the other day. He was having a bit of a grumbly day, very unsettled, nap to feed ratio way off, etc etc. Anyway Booey was over (what a nickname) and we were chatting and Dash was grumbling and so I thought hey mate, you only grumble when you're hungry or dirty or tired so lemme change you and eliminate one cause.

I started changing grumbly baby when all of a sudden I hear some rumbling. Then I see some pooping so I grab a wipe and catch it. No big deal. Then the rumbling starts up again and I catch another. 

Then as I am cleaning up and thinking surely no more poops could be had! One of them shoots out at me (litterally like a rocket), gets my cardigan, gets my top, runs down my pants, lands on my ugg boots, sprays the carpet... I just stood there and screamed for help. Lucky Booey and my Mum were over and helped me clean up the mess. 

Anyway. Grumbly baby was much happier after that. Sometimes you just need to clear out all the shit in your life in order to feel better. 

Moral of the story,

I feel like I too am clearing out all the shit in my life and feeling better. Mentally/spiritually I am a new woman and I feel so fantastic and so in love with my outlook on life. This new role and the new challenges we are facing have forced me to become the person I have always dreamed of being. The Mama I longed to be and particularly, the type of Mama I always dreamed of being. The one who is patient and kind and understanding and giving, at least thats what I'm shooting for.

So thank you baby Dash, for pooping on me, for making me a Mama and for making all of my wildest dreams come true.  

All photos from that fateful Tuesday when I had to be a real Mama and take care of shit all on my own. Hence the frowny faces...

I'ma blog again real soon! I miss you! I know you miss me too.

37 weeks // bumpdate

In the last few weeks I've felt a shift. I want nothing but to be at home, to get myself, my house and my little family prepared for what's about to come. I want to say no to people, be as anti social as possible, to really hibernate and I suppose meditate. 

I want to trust my instincts right now and that exactly what I am doing. Even when I say "I WANT MARSHMALLOWS" and Husband says no no no you don't, really and tries to swerve me away from them, I go ahead and pick up a bag anyway. I feel a little sick now but I still think I needed them!

How far? // 37 weeks and 3 days. Also known as full term. 

How big? // Big enough to give birth any day I'd say. I was REALLY having a hard time with my rib pain up until yesterday. I thought that seeing as though the baby was engaged, they wouldn't drop down much more and I would have to suffer until the end of time/baby time. I was wrong. Baby has dropped, I can breathe, all is calm. 

Cravings? // The usual. Hot chips, ice cream, the occassional marshmallow. FINALLY got my hands on some decent mandarins and you know what? I always thought that by the time the mandarins were ready, baby would be ready. We'll see if I'm right. 

Stretch marks? // zilch. I often wake up and inspect my stomach and freak out only to find that I am freaking out over lines from my clothes/sheets. We're all good. 

How was this week? // Like I said before, I've felt a shift. I've felt an even bigger shift over the weekend but I don't want to expand on it or even think on it too much myself because I don't want to get my hopes up. Also this is all so confusing. Why do I have NO friends who are midwives!? 

Weird pregnancy moment? // These maternal instincts! Or what I hope to be maternal instincts... 

The nursery? // Done for now! Except for the change mat cover I have to sew... and I don't want to... so who knows if it will get done. Baby's bag is packed and ready. Mine will be finished and ready to go tonight. Baby's moses basket has been moved up next to our bed ready to go... So we're really ready for you baby!

Waiting is hard. 

Lucky I am still working and have netflix and NBA TV and messy cupboards to clean and an exercise ball to bounce on. 

More wicked maternity blabbering and photos to come, I'm sure.

34 weeks // bumpdate

Iphone photos! Taken by glorious girlfriends at a glorious wedding! This wedding has been a milestone in this pregnancy. I always felt, firstly, that it would just be awesome (and daunting) to be so very pregnant and I had the best time imagining waddling around crying my eyes out watching two wonderful beautiful people get hitched. And secondly, that once it was over I would really shift gears and start to relax and get into the nesting and preparing and letting everyone else do all of the working.

I'm still working... for another week or so... but I do, I really do feel more relaxed and like I'm really on the home stretch!

Shall we?

How far? // 34 weeks in these photos! But 35 weeks tomorrow. THIRTY FIVE. That means we will have a baby in less than seven weeks regardless. I am still majorly hopeful that I take after my Mother and go into a 6 hour labour at 38 weeks...

How big? // Ohhhhhh babe is as big as a honeydew melon! I don't like honeydew so much but I do love the name! I feel pretty dang enormous... and I love it. Being so obviously pregnant is incredibly hard and stressful on your body but people are so nice to you! All the time, it's really lovely.

Cravings? // All the apples and apple juice, still. And being considerate of the season, also all of the easter eggs.

Stretch marks? // I am so proud of my skin right now, we are still mark free and I am beginning to think we may have escaped them! I never thought I'd be saying that. I am also knocking on wood...

How was this week? // I am so much happier since last bumpdate! I'm still under the pump but it's finnneeee. My pelvis/ribs/back are still playing up and I've realised the position I get in to try and relieve that pain is causing my heart palpitations! So that makes me feel better, I'm not dying of anxiety, it's just the baby squashing my aorta! It's silly but I just feel like I've got some of my sanity back.

Weird pregnancy moment? // The wedding. It was the most beautiful affair and I was so thrilled that I got to help out my wonderful friends. I think I was running on adrenaline/pure love because I lasted all night long and even wiggled my butt on the dance floor. With my legs stuck together because we did not want to make the day about us instead of the new family.

The nursery? // Is lovely. We got so many books and bits and pieces at our baby shower so I've shuffled a book case in there (made by Nick's dad) to hold them all. The rug also came and holy mother of soft fluffy goodness, it's lovely. I had the carpets cleaned yesterday, Nick's slowly getting there with the toy chest... I've ordered a pouffe for my feet! Now I just need to add some photos and artwork and string the mobile together. I love it in there. I will post photos when I'm done!

Nick and I spent the morning going over the baby name book again. After much frustration though we just had another look at our on going short list and ACTUALLY AGREED on TWO complete boys names. We've also decided on one complete girls name and are so set to name her if she is a she...

And now we continue waiting.

On my bedside table...

My bedside table this week and last week and probably next week. Give or take a few half empty cups of tea because I am incapable of finishing a cup. 

• A bucket full of things to do as a family during baby's first year. The ladies in my life all wrote some things down on a piece of paper and I'll be damned if we don't do them. Probably not the trip to Greece Soph but we'll keep the dream alive. 
• A mason jar full of plant off cuts that are growing happily in the sun. Given my love affair with indoor plants I thought I should probably try my hand at cultivating them. 
• A milk jar full of blooms - what a luxury to have fresh blooms in the house! these have already died but it was lovely for a week!
• a pretty box full of junky girl stuff like bobby pins and lost earrings and headbands I can't wear.
• A journal full of little love letters, notes and thoughts from me to baby dewey. I pick up a pen and jot things down at night when the thought strikes me... I hope they appreciate it one day. 
• The glasses I can no longer live without. I used to have 20/20 vision! Then I spent my days at a computer. Then I got pregnant. Now I feel like my eyes cannot focus without them. 
• My new favourite perfume. Ma bought me a pack of sample sized Jo Malone perfumes so I could test each of them and then pick one out for my birthday. I think I've settled on French Pear and Freesia. I wear it and feel so many things and I think it'll be the perfect signature scent for me as a Mother. 
• And the point of the post - Hey Natalie Jean.

Em bought me this book for my baby shower. We've read the Hey Natalie Jean blog for a really long time now and absolutely could not wait for the book. She pre - ordered it, wrote me a note inside it and wrapped it in chic paper. I died. 

When we read the blog, we escape to this wonderful fantasy land in New York where it is absolutely OK to just be really happy about some diet coke and false lashes. Natalie's attitude about being honest, being happy, being unapologetically yourself and about life in general spurs me on. Gives me motivation to own my thoughts and quirks. Makes me feel safe to say that yes, this life I am living with my Husband and our baby bump and two chihuahuas is all I ever dreamed of. And also, am I even ready to be a Mother?

As I shift into this new chapter of my life I know that I'm still finding myself. I'm still growing and battling anxiety and the guilts and doing things I thought I would absolutely not be doing when I was about to become a Mother but people like Natalie and the ladies in my life are making it so much easier. Here's to villages raising babies, being nice to yourself and having another diet coke.

The baby has been showered!

You heard.

I'll be honest, I had a really hard time with this shower. I think it was mainly hormones making me cray. I was so stressed about work and life and things that I let it get me down. I didn't want to make a big deal of it all and make it all about presents and games and not so much about baby. But as usual I was a dingbat.

It was the most splendid afternoon there ever was. Full of chatter and the women I love and food and most of all full of love and excitement for this babe of ours.

It's annoying generally but it's actually a blessing not knowing what the gender of our baby is, makes life interesting. I was able to say to our loved ones that we would just really appreciate a book as a present for Baby if they wanted to bring something along to the shower. Best decision ever, we were so spoiled with these books, each of them hiding a message from one of baby's many faux aunty and uncles, real life aunty's and grandparents. Trucks and tutus would have been wonderful too, but these books, we will treasure them for so many years.

Baby didn't only get books. They got a few other bits and pieces... like Lenny here. All the dewberries agree this is the best toy ever.

Thank you friends for making this Mama feel so loved! Thank you especially to Emily Legges for the masses of food and that cake... dear lord that cake. It tastes even better than it looks if you can imagine it.

Reasons why I want to know what gender our baby is....

1. I want to go shopping.

How shallow and materialistic of me. WHATEVER. I want to go shopping for my baby girl or baby boy from local small businesses like @coco_and_ivory, @pop_ya_tot and @hubbleandduke and who wouldn't because seriously. At first I was all my baby will be the hippest gender neutral thing there ever was until they can pick their own clothing! and now I'm all about the funky girls and boys... ah perspective. OR is it too much instagram!? Maybe the latter.

I would also like to give our baby a name, an identity, things for their nursery that have their name on them, awesome initials... things of that nature. WHY oh WHY is it SO hard to pick a name for a baby?! We have two first names for girls. We're set, we're in love with both, one more than the other if we're honest but we have two really good choices! We have a list as long as my leg of possible maybe don't particularly love them boys first names. Husband actually lay in bed combing the baby name book last night with a look of utmost concentration on his forehead and his notes open and ready. 

I said good luck to him and continued drinking my milk and watching MKR. 

By the way, rest in peace MKR cause I am all about the instant restaurants and so not about the profesh cooking. But then again... I want to see what happens to these people so... Long live MKR. 

And now! after babbling and battling photoshop (I'm getting there) I will make some dinner (not, sorry love) and go to pilates! I really do love pilates. 

Better blog posts to come.

30 weeks // bumpdate

I'm so good at bumpdates! Insert sly guy emoji here. I think he is my fave. Also this Mama already has the tired mama hair-do down.

How Far?  //  30 weeks! and four days today and trust me, I am counting those days. Every day done is the biggest achievement over here.

How Big?  //  Baby is as heavy as a coconut. Do with that what you will. I on the other hand have stepped on the scales twice this pregnancy, both times ended in a freak out but I am not being too hard on myself. I have been SO emotional the past few weeks and so what if I eat like an emotional pregnant woman!? I've already started pilates and still waddle the dogs every few days so whatever, my body is busy growing another body, it can have donuts whenever it wants them.
Also I keep measuring a week ahead at the midwife appointments soooo let's all hope that mean's I might deliver a week or two earlier!

Cravings? // Oranges, apple juice, the chocolate and hot chip addiction is going strong... Also addicted to silly youtube videos. You know the day in the life ones where you literally watch someone do their laundry? I've lost my mind.

Stretch marks?  // Going strong on the markless belly! Coco butter is doing its job.

How was this week?  // in a word? Bad. But not even. Even though I cry near daily, I am exhausted, overwhelmed by work, have constant pain in my ribs/back and hips, I still feel really lucky. I feel lucky that I get to feel our baby wriggle and roll and stretch and get hiccoughs and wake up when our alarms go off. It's the best thing to be a pregnant woman, people look at you and smile and help you pick things up and put on your shoes. It's hard work growing a baby but I am so very grateful to have this job.

Weird pregnancy moment?  // The baby hiccoughs are cute. I'm sure one of the weirdest moments will happen tonight though when we go to our first birthing class! I'm so excited. Also weird - I have been SO happy to be doing baby laundry. I HATE laundry but washing our baby's bedding and swaddles and making them smell like softly has been the best.

The nursery?  // Is coming along so nicely! I've bought everything I think I will buy for it now so all I have to do is wait for the rug to be delivered and start putting it all together! I have sort of made a deal with myself that I just have to get through this month, work as hard as I can and then I can decorate and nest and wash baby clothes and try and rest for all of April/until the baby comes.

And here, some more random photos, for luck.

My nightly view looks a lot like love.

A 28 week naked belly.

The start of baby's room!

The baby's corner of our bedroom is my favourite thing to look at.

22 weeks // Bumpdate

Bikini photos on the INTERNET!? whatever, I'm a mum now I can be all fancy free like that.

How far? 22 weeks! I skipped a couple on account of Christmas and eating and slothing at the beach and such things.

How big? Baby is as long as a cucumber! Still I take offence to these vegetable references because which two cucumbers are actually the same length?! So to be clear, Baby is about 28cm long and weighs half a kilo. It's really quite strange to think that there is a baby nearly as long as a ruler in my belly.

Cravings? Lemme tell you a story. It goes something like, pregnant girl, her husband and their two best friends go to the supermarket while they are on holiday. The pregnant girl seems pretty sane. Then her and her bestie stroll through the aisles looking for paper towel when all of a sudden the image of a perfectly salty and beautiful hot chip pops into her mind. Then she actually starts crying. Bestie runs off to find husband, husband is thoroughly perplexed, leads crying pregnant wife to the frozen chip section as a temporary measure and announces to friends that we're done here. Then they all drove to the nearest fish and chip shop and had lunch. The end.
Also pancakes.

Stretch marks? See above photo of stretch mark-less belly. Thank goodness!

How was this week? Since my last bumpdate, baby has been getting stronger and stronger everyday. They've now learned how to swiftly kick me in the bladder whenever they feel like it!
Another story? Ok
So I had this blinding pain in my left temple every time I bent over for a few weeks leading up to christmas. I wasn't too concerned since I suffer from random icepick migraine pains all the time. Boxing day however, that pain slowly started to build up. Finally being at the coast I thought it was just a little post holiday/finally starting to relax sort of headache. You know the ones? When you've been really tense and then you finally breathe and it just sort of hurts? Anyway anyway anyway, this pain built up over the next few days until I said DOCTOR! and off we went to spend a day in emergency where the drugs and doctors are. I made them let me go home when I was drowsy... I paid for it the next day. The worst migraine I've ever had ever. I've now given up chocolate and coke and am scared to death of getting another.

Weird pregnancy moment? As if story one and story two weren't weird enough...

The nursery? We're home for a few days to get some sneaky work done so we can head back down the coast for another week so I am using my time with the internet wisely and buying up in all the sales. We plan on buying the pram and hopefully bassinet this week and I am sooooooooo excited! I bought some aden and anais bamboo swaddles and a boon drying rack this morning and I am off to bunnings to buy shelf brackets this afternoon.
You know how everyone always tells you babies are expensive?
I was always one of those people who thought, they are only as expensive as you make them, you do not need to spend thousands.
I was wrong.

18 weeks // Bumpdate

18 weeks (so far) is the best week ever. 

How far? These were taken at 18 weeks and 5 days. 

How big? Baby is as big as a capsicum at 18 weeks... and then is as big as a big tomato at 19 weeks... I mean honestly isn't a capsicum bigger than a tomato? Or is that just in my world? Anyway, I got bigger! I have a proper baby bump! I can walk around and people can be like ooohhh a little baby bump! instead of ohhh I wonder what she ate for lunch... 

Cravings? I don't want to talk about food. I'm really trying to be better at eating well. 

Stretch marks? Not yet! Still crossing my fingers and toes. 

How was this week? The best. At 18 weeks and one day I woke up and lay in bed avoiding getting up and showering/moving because it was early we were supposed to be rushing off to the coast but I do not like rushing anywhere right now. ANYWAY Noodle was laying in the lovely little crack between my bean pillow and my belly (mostly on me) and I felt baby kick! Apparently they don't like getting smooshed by their siblings. Every day since then my belly has been growing and the little kicks have been getting stronger and more frequent. They can get so strong that Nick can put his hand on my belly and get a high five. 

Weird pregnancy moment? I no longer fit into any of my clothes but I don't yet fit into full on maternity clothes. This weird still in between stage is ssuuuuppper annoying. Buying clothes two sizes bigger so I can wear them for a month makes me a little cranky but it has been really nice shopping with my husband who picks things out and sits in the change room with me and tells me I look pretty in sack dresses. What a champ. 

The nursery?! Is the christmas present dumping ground!! I will make a move on wrapping them and organising the house next week :)

16 weeks // Bumpdate

Hi! I'll be a better blogger, promise. Working from home I thought I would ACE blogging. SO much time to take photos! So much time to create things... But alas, I want to work harder for my businesses and my house is actually a bit cleaner due to all the tidying so blogging falls by the wayside. Anywho, I'll get there.

How far?  Well... this photo was taken at 16 weeks and 2 days but today we are 17 weeks and 4 days!

How Big?  Baby is neeeaaarrrlllyyy over a really big growth spurt. Apparently they double their weight between weeks 16 and 18 so right now baby should weigh about 170 grams and is 13.5cm long. I was just thinking that is still sooo tiny and then I picked up a ruler and held it on my belly. It's a decent size... haha.

Cravings?  During the day, more coke zero please. At night, I want all the milk.

Stretch marks?  Not yet! I think my obsession with coconut oil and coco butter is paying off. I do smell like a cake most of the time though.

How was this week?  More like two weeks... have been mostly OK! Had a killer week long migraine, had our first appointment at the hospital with the midwives! I tell you I felt like the biggest fraud. Like husband and I were just watching a reaaaalllly vivid episode of one born every minute. Still doesn't feel like this is real life even when listening to baby's heart beating away. Cannot wait to feel some fluttering baby movements. Also we put the tree up!! and the rest of the christmas decorations soooo best week ever.

Weird pregnancy moment?  So I have to go to the beach this weekend with Nick's work, right? So I tried my swimmers on. If only you could have seen my face. I am all for embracing new curves and admiring a changing body and buying new swimmers even but at the same time... aaaaaaaccckkkkk.

The nursery?!  We have three spesh chairs in our house. One amaze armchair from Ikea, currently housed in the bedroom, one armchair we thrifted and I made new cushion covers for, currently in the living room and one glorious little eames rocker, a perfect wedding gift from Emily that's hanging out in the nursery. We are going to play musical chairs and give them new homes so the thrifted armchair will live in the nursery - the cushion covers are easy to wash if you're picking up what I'm putting down, the rocker will move to our bedroom next to the moses basket and the cream armchair will move to the living room where we will continue to cherish it. Longest pointless story about chairs over.

Also little side note, this mama got a hair cut! The biggest cut in nine long years. I feel like a new woman.

14 weeks // Bumpdate

It's growing!

I want to do a bumpdate series cause I'm all about originality. More importantly though, I'm all about documenting for our babe. That's why I started blogging the first place anyway!

Hold onto your hats now.

How far ?   14 weeks (and 4 days)

How big?  Baby is as big as a lemon, I feel like I am getting bigger by the day. I was on a pretty good pre wedding diet only three months ago. Now I eat when I can and what I can. I'm trying to be as healthy as possible and walk as much as I can but there is a lot more I can do.

Cravings?  Chocolate milk. Thick shakes. Vanilla marshmallows with raspberry lollies. Mushy apples. Oranges. Why on earth can't I just want salad!? Sorry bout all the crap food baby.

Stretch marks?  Not yet thankfully but my skin is prone to them! I've been slathering up with both flax seed oil and cocoa butter daily for the last 6 weeks so lets all keep our fingers crossed. I'm looking for more/better products to use though!

How was this week?  Good! Made progress with the Etsy store, started Christmas shopping, spent some lovely time with family, had the best time warming Em's new home... It was also painful. After just 2 months of wear my wedding ring lost a diamond! I didn't knock my hand or damage the ring, it just fell out... Now I just want move on with a different ring but it'll be a hard process and I'm already so disappointed. But really, it is just a ring.

Weird pregnancy moment?  I've heard that the second trimester is the most glorious time of all and I am SO excited to feel these glorious feels! I haven't been so lucky yet but I am less nauseas. I've had a whole lot of stretching and growing pain but I'm not complaining about it, I'm glad baby is growing.

The nursery!?  I have so many ideas! I am so not about the pink or blue (or yellow/green) themes and we aren't finding out what we're having anyway so that's a good thing! I want to create a space that's peaceful and relaxing and inspiring and baby's safe haven. Lot's of hand made love, not just from my fingers but from my Mum's and grandmothers and Husbands too.

I don't know that this will be an every week sort of thing because really... but I will try! If I skip a month though don't be too surprised.

Love you BD

That one day in Rome

Lemme tell you a story of this one day in Rome. 

September 5th 2014 if you like to be exact. 

We woke up in our villa on Via Guila (such a lovely villa by the way) with the biggest day ahead of us. 

We started by walking in the wrong direction for 30 minutes - we were trying to find breakfast on the way to the Roman Forum. After a big round about circle, we found a little cafe and the Roman Forum all in one. We had a breakfast hearty enough to sustain us for a couple of hours and a break long enough to recover from our walk. 

As we walked through the ancient ruins, listening to our audio guides, I had a few thoughts. 

One; I felt like shit. Real proper just want a lie down, a cold drink and Harry Potter shit. I considered the weather, the amount of travelling we had done in the past few weeks, the dodgy place we ate at the night before... 

Two; A little tiny part of me kept remembering I was a week late.

I perked up a little bit at the promise of a big lunch before we hit the colosseum. Despite the little hint of nausea, I could have eaten 5 pizzas, 3 plates of spaghetti and 10 ice creams once we had walked around that forum.

We soon enough found this weird mix of a restaurant/nightclub/bakery that over looked the colosseum. We waited about 15 minutes for these terribly obnoxious German women to squabble over spare change and then finally we sat down. One enormous burger, three diet cokes and a plate of chips later I was sort of ready to tackle the colosseum. 

Can I mention that while it was hot and we were walking for kms and kms, I didn't have to carry a thing and my husband even took over the camera while handing me bottles of water and letting me rest in the shade whenever we could. Such a wonder. 

From the colosseum we decided to smash as many monuments in one day as possible, I think this was my Husbands idea... I didn't thank him for it. We wondered through the streets of Rome and found our way to the Trevi fountain. It was under construction and such a shame because that thing is one of my favourite things about Rome. We then walked on over to the thoroughly unimpressive Spanish Steps (sick of my whinging yet?) and off to find our next pit stop. 

We were going to walk home again. Through some big important square I couldn't care less about. My husband and parents could see something was wrong though and thankfully suggested a taxi. More thoughts struck me. 

One; something really was off

two; I just needed a great big enormous delicious ice cream.

We had one of the best rated ice cream joints in Rome right next to our Villa which we visited everyday. On this day our taxi dropped us off right outside it and I near ran inside. Ice cream in hands we remembered we needed toilet paper from the store of all things so slowly made our way over. 

I spotted a pregnancy test in the grocery store. Just chilling out among the bandaids and sewing kits. As I picked one up I said to Nick, this is happening, he replied with a cool 'I know'.

Back at the house I went to the bathroom straight away, I couldn't wait until the morning to take it and I knew what it would show anyway. I did the test, left the bathroom to get my phone from the bed, walked back in and there it was. 

Two dark pink lines. 

What a scary thing to see when you aren't expecting it. When you're in a different country, on a different continent. When your wedding was three weeks ago and your life is far from sorted. When you are three weeks and thousands of kms away from your doctor and solid advice. What a scary thing to see even if you are at home and expecting it! What an instant life changing, wonderful thing.

You know what's happened since this fateful day? The universe sorted us out. We made it through two and a half more weeks of travelling Europe, getting sicker and sicker by the day and when we made it home everything fell into place.

Sometimes the universe just gives you exactly what you need at the exact right moment.

We're so excited about you BD and we couldn't love you any more.